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She’ll arrive at the restaurant early to orient herself with where the door handle to the restaurant is located or what the layout of her table is like — small things to keep her date from thinking she is incompetent or needy. Yet one thing she does need help with: Making the first move.
“I have heard from people that they don’t want to take care of us, and I am like, ‘Oh, hell no, that is not me at all. She’s had dates where, despite great conversation, men have told her she never gave them any indication that she wanted something more.
“I like being able to see how much effort a guy is willing to put into crafting his profile: Is he really serious about finding someone?
” Finding someone online has never been more popular.
As for the actual date, Jolliff likes to keep some form of control.
She prefers to go to coffee shops or lounges, particularly places she knows.
“It’s usually in between our initial contact and our first date that I tell them,” Jolliff says.
“I will not ever be the person that surprises them.
I will let you know if I don’t want it.” Jolliff does prefer to date sighted people, she says, another contentious question in the blindness community.
Telling a potential date too early risks scaring them away before they understand the nuances of the disability. “Should we be telling guys flat-out that we are blind in our profiles? “My stance is no, because then a lot of them scroll by immediately, thinking that I’m going to be a ‘burden.’ I like to let them get to know me a little first, but tell them before we go on our first date.” Jolliff says she usually looks for an opening — for example, if someone mentions something about driving — and peppers it with humor.
Then she drops what she and her friends call “the blind bomb,” saying something like, “Well, you wouldn’t want me doing that! In some cases, men are receptive to dating but then cut ties quickly.
Will you do better disclosing [your disability] immediately, do you put it in a photo, or do you wait?
” That question of disclosure is incredibly controversial in the blind community.
In her e Harmony and Ok Cupid profiles, Tiffany Jolliff notes that she obsessively listens to the “Hamilton” soundtrack, loves karaoke and can make almost anyone laugh.